I’m not sure if this is happened to anyone else, and if they can relate, but I kinda feel... like this is a good age for me. I’ve been 28 for 3 weeks but it feels great. It’s the first time in a long time a change in age has felt like a shift in feeling.
I’m not sure how to explain it. I feel like I have woken up in a way and life is finally making sense and coming together.
I think focussing so much on being positive this year has meant that even in my toughest times, I have tried to remember the good, and it has rubbed off in a way; lingered and moved into the rest of my life.
It’s a baked potatoes, super noodles and toasted sandwiches kinda week, but I don’t seem to really care that we’re broke as hell. I know in a few weeks when I get paid we’ll be right as rain again and life will go on swimmingly. Dave has one more hurdle to jump and then we might actually have some paperwork to sign, and a date for him to start. He can stop temping and start training.
I feel like I’ve been working really hard at the gym (well April anyway, I’ve only been twice this month!) and spending time growing my hair out again, and it’s at a shade of blonde that I really like, and easy enough to do myself. I’ve got my eyelash extensions (which I haven’t written about yet I guess!) which make my eyes big and dare I say it, pretty, and I feel like my figure is finally becoming what I want it to be. (I may write another post purely about how ridiculous and mind-boggling it is that my body is finally slowly becoming the one I want).
I have this confidence again that I think was lacking for so long, and it is not only because things are working, but I think also in a way helping things to work better. A positive circle of events for once. I’m never going to agree with visualisation or “The Secret” nonsense, but I think living positively can enable positive things in the same way that being negative all the time is only going to bring out the negative in life.
I’m also doing two Fringe shows this year. And not “sway in the back” roles, either. A duet in one, a lead role in the other.
And I just feel strong. I know exactly who I am, what I want out of my life and holy shit, I feel I have far to go, like my line in the name poem says. But I take that both ways. I know I can go far and have an amazing life, but I also know I have far to go yet.
Thank god I wasn’t born on a Wednesday (sorry Chris).