Monday, October 24, 2011
It's poetic and nice to say "no regrets" when you're living life, but I find it hard to follow through on. I can play some things in my head over and over and feel just terrible about the way I handled a situation, what I said to someone, or how I hurt someone either directly or indirectly. I think this kind of worrying and dwelling is bad for one's health, so I'm trying to let some things go.
And then there are the small things, like breaking your diet by eating cheesecake at 10pm on a Sunday night because your country won the Rugby World Cup.
I live and learn..
Monday, October 17, 2011
She had a fairly positive experience eating paleo, and at the end of it had also shrunk a little. As I am forever unhappy about my figure and trying to slim down, I figured Dave and I, for the month of October, could go on a little diet change of our own.
Rather than go full dinosaur, we decided we would do something that had proven to be very successful for me in the past and go low carb. Before I moved to Scotland, I spent a few months doing pilates and cut my carbs considerably, and after sticking to these and a few other good habits, dropped a stone before my move (1 stone = 14lb = 6.5kg).
I'm not really looking to lose a lot of weight, to be honest. Over the last few months of gym-going, I've toned my legs and arms quite a bit and can run a lot longer/further. I just think a healthier, less-stodgy-foods lifestyle is better for me overall.
And while we cheated a little in the first 10 days or so of October, lately I've been sticking to it really well:
* Water water water!
* Gym. I give myself 4 set times to go, and if I fail once a week? no big deal.
* Alternate exercise. On a Sunday I'll walk with Dave if the weather is good enough, swim, or do some yoga or pilates in the house.
* No pasta, rice, potatoes, noodles, bread!
* Fruit only or low fat yoghurt for snacks.
* Or oat cakes with marmite. But rarely.
* Eating earlier in the evening and smaller portions.
* Soups! Nom. Lucky the weather lately has been horrendous.
I've also formed/joined a wee "lunch club" at work. 3 of us meet every day for lunch and just eat big hearty salads. We take turns buying salad greens, peppers, cucumber, avocado, dressings, croutons and a little cheese.
So as of October 17th? I am feeling amazeballs. I just have so much more energy, and for me that's incredible. I live in a post-meningitis haze of exhaustion 90% of the time. So to have energy in the afternoons at work, and even better, in the evenings, is making a major difference to me. I can't wait to see how I feel at the end of the month. If I'm still feeling good (and I feel more in shape), I'm probably going to just keep going with it.
And then, maybe? we might go paleo. The idea of not having beans/quinoa/lentils/chickpeas scares me a little, though. And no dairy? eeek. I love my Onken yoghurt (I eat a tub a week) and the very occasional icecream.
One other secret to my success (well, in the past!) is allowing myself a cheat day. On Saturdays I can have a little bread, a little potato, some icecream at the movies. I find that if I tell myself whenever I have a craving "You can just have it Saturday!" I end up waiting... and then not actually having it. It's very rare that my Saturday calorie count is that much higher than the rest of the week.
I think without it, I'd buckle to chocolate and ruin the whole diet by eating like a slob for days. This keeps me under check, even if it's just a psychological crutch.
So yeah.. watch this space. If it makes a huge difference, I'll definitely tell you. I just know we needed a change from our bad habits.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I agree that the police time and energy spent on it should be spent on other things, and minor possession and personal consumption are not worth the hassle.
But when people say to "go ahead and legalize it, it's not hurting anyone but the smoker"? That isn't true. It may not be every time, or every case, but drugs break up families and mess up lives. Go ahead and smoke it, go ahead and do that to yourself, but if you are one of the small percentage of people that end up moving into harder drugs or having serious mental health issues, then don't ask the state to pay for it. I don't want to pay for your rehab, or for your psychological health. I don't want to fix you if it breaks you.
Saturday, October 08, 2011
Episode 1 of course set the scene, with Max working in a diner where cupcakes she bakes are also sold and Caroline, a Manhattan socialite who has fallen from grace after Daddy fiddled with the books. The juxtaposition of the two personalities works well, especially when Caroline doesn’t really know how to do, well, anything for herself, and gives a real Odd Couple feel. Caroline is sure that Max’s cupcakes could become big business, and projects the start-up costs to be $250,000.
Which brings me to one of the things I really like about the series so far: each episode ends with the figure that the girls have raised so far towards their business. Obviously in 2 episodes they haven’t pulled much together, but you want them to succeed. Everyone has been affected by the credit crunch, and the idea of pulling together money to fulfil your dreams is quintessentially American, and well, human.
I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes, but you should definitely check it out.
Friday, October 07, 2011
As one of the few reality shows I watch (okay, five), I was so excited to see the show is back, as it has been one of my firm favourites since its beginning. But I hadn’t been following any press beforehand, so had no idea it was going to be an “All Stars”. Old familiar faces are back, such as Lisa (“I peed in the diaper”), Isis (post sex-change), Bianca and oh dear lord, my two least favourites ever: Angelea and Alexandria.
So! For this season I would like the results to be:
But in reality going by decent models, it could also go to Alison (with her beautiful doe eyes), which I'd be happy with.
The reason I bring this up is because I’ve been going a LOT lately.
I’ve always enjoyed going to the movies. I spent many nights with that same good group of friends going to the cinema on a regular basis, though sometimes I’d pull out when finances were tight. Now I live in Edinburgh and have £14.99/month unlimited film-going, Dave and I are there at least once, sometimes three times a week – there’s no way If I lived at home now I’d be going to so many films (which makes me sad – NZ, bring in a similar system!). It means we get to see the good (Drive), the bad (What’s Your Number) and the odd (The Tree of Life) releases, and we definitely go to films we wouldn’t otherwise choose, simply because we’re “not paying for it”. With film prices being £7-8/ticket, we really only have to go twice a month to get our money’s worth, and we’re definitely out-doing that. My film-making friends would love it, and would undoubtedly be seeing and reviewing everything that comes out.
For me, however, my true love? is TV. It gets looked down at by film geeks, but I just love it. Give me a TV show with great characters, a good narrative, an interesting premise... I’m there. (Especially if it’s Whedon). There’s just something about following a character week to week, falling in love with them and their writing, and continuing to obsess for seasons on end. Knowing there is more coming next week.
To be honest, though, I can’t remember the last time I watched shows on actual television. Obviously if I’m sick in bed or lazing on a Sunday I can put the TV on, but I’m much more likely to grab my laptop and download or streaming TV. Don’t get me wrong, if the show’s good, I’ll buy the DVDs, but the idea of being able to watch TV at my own pace, when I can fit it in (usually before bed), or share it with Dave, is great. And I have also almost always lived in countries where shows are released on delay, sometimes by days, sometimes by months. Sometimes shows just never make it to TV. And without buying a TiVo, I can’t imagine how I would keep up with them anyway.
TV got me through a lot of tough times in my life. Break-ups, serious illnesses, deaths. Depression and anxiety are always at the corner of the room, staring me down. But I dive right in to my favourites, and I can escape, cheer myself up, focus on something positive or creative, rather than what’s going on in my head.
I use a site that many may be familiar with, called Sidereel. It tracks all of my favourite shows for me so I know where I’m at and tells me when the next episode is on/released in the US. It also has links to streaming sites which are reliable most of the time. I can do without their “web series” and the presenting/info videos they do, but I do enjoy the interface and tracking system which is pretty awesome. At the moment I’m tracking... 50 shows. Some of them have concluded or been cancelled a long time ago and I’m just re-watching or catching up (Friends, Veronica Mars, Seinfeld), and others are brand new.
I will always love television. The box. The teevee. And I think I’ll start blogging about it, when I can. There are some excellent new shows that I’m enjoying, as well as the old and familiar that I love, and I think it’s worth sharing my thoughts when I have time. No promises. Though I am about to have a lot more time on my hands.
Until next time, folks: same time, same channel...
Thursday, October 06, 2011
For me it feels like the 3rd time I’ve missed out on roles I’ve dreamed of playing... and ironically, it’s been the same girl. I love her to death, she’s gorgeous and very talented, but I’m just... tired. I spend so much time worrying about others and worrying about being humble and being a good person that I think I’d like to spend some time trying to promote myself and push myself. I think I’d rather spend those 6 months focussing a large chunk of my energy on my own music, which I do not do enough of at all.
RENT broke me a little bit. I’d spent over half of my life singing those songs, dreaming of playing those parts, and the idea of doing it just blew my mind. I stuck with it and the ensemble for the first time, and was kindly given some extra bits and pieces to do, after others had pulled out. But Sweeney has no extra bits and pieces, no time to shine, and as awful as it sounds, I think I’d feel just rubbish knowing that I could be doing more. I finally feel I have a bit of my confidence back and I know I have the talent. I’m sorry I ever doubted it before.
So watch this space. There’ll be gigs, new songs, new recordings and hey, maybe I’ll find another show to be in.
I have a lot of writing to do.