New Years Resolutions

I was talking to Dave last night about how I make the same resolutions every year and end up breaking them. He said I should still make them but try not to break them this year, then. Well, okay.

Continue my fitness program. Mmmm Wii Fit.

Relax more. Mmmm sleep. Well. Take more time out to enjoy what I enjoy doing. Try to relax and feel happy every day.

Write more music! Use the damn piano downstairs. I keep forgetting that I live here now, so it's there.

Get organised for Scotland.

Sacrifice a little. Work a little bit more, save a little bit more, getting to Scotland is easier.

Finish my course papers on time. Finish my course on time..

Make my family a little more of a priority.

Appreciate time with friends. I won't see them much after April..

Stop bitching. Just do it.

I have no major vices to give up.. so they're pretty boring. Yours?

Lacy

I'm not sure what reminded me of her tonight. It could have been an email, the songs that I know she loves that were playing, or just the fact that I still have her as a livejournal friend, 2 years after her death.

I just miss Lacy tonight.

I started re-reading her entries after thinking about her, and realising that I hadn't thought about her much since her death. Bizarre to think of it being over 2 years ago, and horribly unfair still that she's gone.

Lacy died at 21 from Ewing's Carcinoma. She was incredibly vibrant, passionate, talented and so much fun. We were going to go to RENT together in NYC on my 2006 US trip, but she died 3 weeks before I was due to leave. When I went to the show, the seat next to me was oddly empty, in a full auditorium. And no, I didn't buy the ticket.

I can't listen to RENT without thinking of her.  Lacy, you were amazing and so full of life, and I still treasure your journal entries. It's so unfair that you're gone. The world is much less cooler without you in it.

Cancer sucks. She always said it made her stronger, and more grateful, and made her live life differently. But it still sucks.

[edited to add: Excerpts from her journal..

"...I should be at a loss for words. This whole thing just makes me angry. I have never outright hated something so much as I do this disease. I hate it with all of my soul... It hurts and it hates and it doesn't discriminate and there is no getting around it. If your cells decide to turn on you, they do, and I hate it! No one deserves this disease, no matter what kind of person they are."

"Ewing's Sarcoma is a bitch, and I hate it, but it's also one of the best things that's ever happened to me. It's made me appreciate life so much more, and made me [a] stronger person. I know that I can overcome anything placed in front of me. I'm petrified, no doubt. But it's not going to stop me from living life to the fullest."]

Oh Japan.

You're so awesome.

Well that was.. special.

While taxiing down the runway, preparing for take-off, the cabin crew on our 7am flight this morning were in the process of explaining the emergency exit procedure (including how to open the door) to the passengers seated in the exit rows.

One bright spark sitting right next to the door decided that he would test opening the door as he was being briefed.

So the plane returned to the gate, I returned and put the airbridge back on, and we waited for the engineer to clear the plane for disembarking. Again.

And off it went again at 7.18am.

I wonder how stupid that guy feels.. but at least I had a laugh.

Christmas Wish

Warning: This post may make even the most romantic person sick.

Last Christmas eve, I was in my apartment alone, as Andy was with his family, and I was working too early on Christmas Day to go home and see my own. I sat on my balcony with a cup of tea and felt utterly miserable and alone. And I went to bed.

This year, surprisingly, I felt the same. I was in a house full of people, but my 4am shift on Christmas Day had forced me to bed early, and I was missing out on the Christmas Eve togetherness that was happening downstairs. And I really, really missed Dave.

You see, while I am totally grateful for the lovely things my friends and family have bestowed on me this year (from homemade calendars from Sarah-Rose and my sister, to a photo keyring from my sister's in-laws, to House S4 from Ma, to Dave's thoughtful wee bag of gifts), I only had one real wish, and that was to have my Dave.

He was feeling it, too, on the phone. It seemed strange and foreign to me, and yet completely insane, as I have had 24 Christmases without him so far. How can a year of having someone in your life change everything?

But the idea that next year, I will be with him for Christmas, (with hopefully our respective families), in our own flat, is an exciting thought. Add to that the fact that I won't have to feel this feeling anymore: this constant empty feeling like something important is missing; that sinking feeling of sadness when I wake up without him. 

That is the best Christmas present I could ask for.

Top 5 things said this time of year

1. "Indication would be awwwweeesome."

2. "Why are you stopped? move ASIDE."

3. "That's not on sale. How can that be the sale price?"

4. "He got me a present? Aw, crap, now I have to buy him one."

5. "Happy Holidays!"

Oh and the serenity prayer. Except I'm asking to help me refrain from murdering random strangers by mowing them down with my car outside Queensgate.

Merry Christmas!

Hush hush.

Xmas is a very mysterious time of year.

Mainly because whenever I'm off to do something that I'd rather not tell people about, or I'm simply running late to get home when I'd already promised I'd be there, or if I'm just feeling plain sneaky, I can answer a "where were you?" with

"Oh just picking up something. Not telling you anything."

Works a charm.

I'm done with my shopping, which is more than I can say for some of my friends and family, but working shifts gives me that luxury of the occasional afternoon. I recently received a package of presents from Dave, which is now under the tree, apart from the cake bars. They are in my belly. (Well no, I still have 5. For now.)

No cards as yet, I think it's because most of my close friends are here now, but I'm expecting a few. This is nice, cause I sent none. Well, I'm sending one. It'll be more of a Happy January! card, though.

So it's a nice time of year in some respects. But don't get me started on the way people drive...

Suddenly I see..

Concert #3 of the month! I'm getting around.

KT was energetic, super-talented live and rather hilarious!

Filled with that Scottish wit that I love (and getting in her fair share of the kind of cursing that made me miss Dave), while playing all the favourites, she ended the year on a good note for me.

Happy Chrismukwanzaa, people! It's getting so close. I can't believe how fast this year has gone.

2009 is gonna be awesome.

Xmas posts to come, as well as my resolutions and Year in Review, of course.

Mmm drugs.

Yeah so I'm glad I bought my wee jar of 500 advil when I was in SF. That stuff really does the trick. I had to leave an area halfway through my shift today to dose up on some more.

Teeth are better, and seem to be coming through okay. I'll give it a bit more time, and if there's a lot of pain, then to the dentist I shall go.

In other news, my shift today seriously sucked, what with delays, cancellations, angry passengers and it all of course being my fault that a plane was broken (come on, people), but I am home now, in bed, talking to D.. things are fine. Sleep-in tomorrow, watch some crappy TV, go to work, and then Sunday is a 3 hour shift, Monday just under 6, and then Tuesday is freedom.

And then the 7-day cycle starts again. I need the money, but phew am I glad I'm not taking any overtime for New Years' Eve or Day. Screw that.

I'll work Xmas but leave me my drinking!

...

Okay so I honestly wasn't going to just post 12 Days of Xmas pictures. Honestly.

But I am in bed right now in total agony, after trying to use bonjela, drugs and a combination, and my wisdom teeth on the right hand side are just killing me.

Trying not to cry, cause that's a wimpy girl thing to do, and I'm pretty good when it comes to pain. But wow. It really hurts.

Hope to get proper posting up and running when I'm not spending 24/7 pouting.

I'm really really hoping I don't end up at a dentist this weekend because a) hello expensive. And b) Dentists terrify me.

Fingers crossed..

Owwwww.

My last two wisdom teeth are coming through and man, I hope I'm super wise or something now, because they hurt. I'm using bonjela, the baby teething gel, which actually does seem to help, but it doesn't really inspire me to want to go into work today!

Proper post tonight.

Nine.

Sing along!

100 days

In 100 days my life is set to change. (Well, 99, but the laptop overheated while writing this post last night..)

It's amazing how fast everything is moving. 100 days seems like a long time, yet so so close.

March 25th is currently the plan to move.. but at least 4 weeks before then, my visa application needs to be in, and I have to organise my flight details around then. I also need to decide which route I am taking - if I am travelling through the US to get the extra baggage allowance or whether I ship clothes to Edinburgh. I know shopping there is awesome, but so is my wardrobe.

I also need to be registered with job agencies over there, get my bank account package set before I leave, keep flat hunting online with Dave, and generally sort out any loose ends here with my money, my NZ cellphone plan, my music equipment - do I try and take it all or source some new gear when I arrive? Something tells me I need to become a better guitarist. So much easier than getting the right keys...

And then there's my job. I love my job. The downsides to this move are missing my family and friends, and losing my job. I've become comfortable there, skilled there, and there are promotions and progressions that I'd really love to be working towards. But I am happy to put these things on hold, as I know someday I'll be back (and fingers crossed for an airline job based at EDI..).

But yeah, into double-digits baby! It excites me and scares me all at once.

Holy crap.

This made me nearly wet myself.

Awesome.

(http://www.jonesbigasstruckrentalandstorage.com/)

Tweet tweet

Tonight's film:

The Birds

I never understood what was quite so scary about this film, but I've really enjoyed all of the Hitchcock I have seen and feel like rewatching this one in my cosy wee bed. (Of course, we're so desensitised these days that I understand why it's just not scary anymore.. but what a brilliant filmmaker). Getting up at 5..

I think my top 3 Hitchcock films are:

1) Rear Window

2) Psycho

3) The Birds

One thing, though. The dialogue in the films always surprises me. You can take it as wooden and unnatural, yet at times it is more natural than in any other films. I still also really must see Rebecca..

For tomorrow

Happy Birthday, Ma.

(from tonight's dinner)

My brother is home in a week!

Last 5 songs on shuffle

Deck the halls it's you again, it's you again, somewhere someone must know the ending..

Space Dog by Tori Amos: I can't hear this without thinking of Chris, because it was his name online for a while (a long, long time ago). It's from my first ever Tori album, Under the Pink, and though the lyrics are somewhat strange, it really is adorable and poignant all at once. I've heard the comic inspired by it is gorgeous, too..

Calm down, I'm calling you to say - I'm capsized, erring on the edge of safe..

The Con by Tegan and Sara: Man how can you be so kick-ass rock and roll, yet sing about how broken you are; how you like to cry?

I could lead you to the top, don't stop, I could lead you there still..

Tellin' Stories by the Charlatans: Perfect 90s indie pop/rock (I call it "boy pop", much to Dave's amusement). I knew a few songs by these guys when I met Dave, but now I've almost heard every song, and I can't help boogieing. I'm realllly sure this has been used on a commercial in NZ, but I couldn't pinpoint which. I was really disappointed that they came to NZ and I couldn't go!

That deaf, dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball!

Pinball Wizard by The Who: Man hearing this throws me back to driving in New York state, a car full of people, all singing along to Tommy like the musical theatre nerds we were (and are). The Who + musicals = win. And I'm seeing them next year!

For the price of a pint of milk - I'll tell you all I know.. about the state of the world today - sit down, enjoy the show..

For the Price of a Cup of Tea by Belle & Sebastian: If this song doesn't make you bop your head and sing along, I don't think you're human. It's just so cute and catchy and fun, and it cemented my Belle and Sebastian obsession. Mmmm Scottish goodness. And thanks to Dave, I have every album now.

If you want any mp3s, just holler.

December's Mix

1. Belle and Sebastian - The Boy with the Arab Strap

2. Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire

3. Kylie Minogue - Speakerphone

4. Britney Spears - Circus

5. Florence and the Machine - Kiss With a Fist

6. Travis - Chinese Blues

7. Joan as Police Woman - To America

8. MIA - Paper Planes

9. Kylie Minogue - The One

10. Lady Gaga - Just Dance

11. Britney Spears - Amnesia

12. Martha Wainwright - The Traitor

13. Ben Folds - Cologne

14. David Bowie - Life on Mars

A really eclectic mix this time, but with tons of electro-pop!

A better idea..

...of the spectacle of Monday night.







From one of the London dates. Amazing.

Angus BBQ 2008

Cousins:  Caroline, Sarah, Becky, Rachel, Kat (me)

In my attempt to stick to my determined wish to post every day until 2009 hits (and then try to keep it going..), this post makes up for not posting Sunday night (as the last two were yesterday and today's!)

Sunday afternoon was spent at a barbeque for my Dad's side of the family, and is set to become an annual event. Here are some photos.

Location: Khandallah Park.

If I'm able to be in NZ, I'm looking forward to next year..

xx

K

On a Night Like This

Incredible. Staggering. Mind blowing. Thrilling. Exhilarating.

Amazing.

Just some of the words going through my mind (and being said!) after last night's Kylie Minogue concert in Auckland.

I'm so glad we went up. Thumping beats and bass that reverberates through your chest. Dancers. Sweet synths. Costume changes. And lots and lots of sparkle.

I danced until my feet bled and blistered in my 4-inch heels, sang until my throat was hoarse. The arena of 12,000 fans turned into one big electro-pop dance party as we sang, danced and cheered our way through 2.5 hours of the most fun I've had at a concert, ever. Hands down. (Well, aside from the dancing-singing-excitement fest that was Barenaked Ladies). The thrill alone of her playing Better the Devil You Know while I danced my ass off made the concert price worthwhile for me.

And then? well. Then we went to the casino and lost money before heading out to dance for another 3 hours, before hobbling back to the hotel. SO. MUCH. FUN.

(I can still barely walk today. But who cares!)

Adorable conversation last night (8th December)

Kat: Babe we're all on the dance floor at the gay bar dancing to Kylie. Come join us! I wanna steal a kiss.

Dave: How is it stealing a kiss when they all belong to you anyway?


♥!

Afternoon in the sun

Oh Sheryl. I heart you.

I just got back from Martinborough, an hour's drive from Wellington, after spending the afternoon in the sun seeing Sheryl Crow live.

The gig started with local act Gin Wigmore, who had lost her voice, but still did fairly well for the circumstances, and Sheryl came on shortly after that, playing all of her top hits, and a few newbies (that we weren't too fond of. A bit too "we can save the world just with more love people" for me).

And then the 'main event' John Mellencamp came on, and the older, slightly hick crowd went nuts, while Chris and I simply looked at each other and attempted to enjoy ourselves.

After half an hour of polite listening and head-bobbing, we legged it out of there, beating the crowds (and ultimately the traffic), to have a nice dinner in Featherston and drive home on quiet roads.

I'm hoping I didn't get sunburnt. Feel okay so far tonight, but we'll see in the morn..

Deaded.

I am posting to you from a laptop that looks like it was designed for a small child. A small child from the UK who can use this mental keyboard setup.

It's actually my mother's, and it was ordered from my brother in London, to replace her big bulky one and to hopefully be easier for her to use.

Mine died tonight, and aside from the mere frustration of not being able to finish an assignment, access any of my files, or use the disc drive, I keep pressing the wrong bloody keys.

For example, the @ is not above the 2. That has ". Just for kicks. Then there's the £ instead of the $, which has been moved down the ranking to above the 4. I also have no ctrl key in the corner, but a Function key.

And then there's the # key where the enter should be (well for my hands) and I keep! hitting! it!

If I buy a computer in the UK I'm going to have trouble getting used to this!

Tonight's plan..

Say what you like, but Dirty Dancing remains one of my favourite movies from childhood, adolescence, adulthood.. my love has stayed true so far. I'm on a bit of a rewatch, nostalgic trip at the moment. Lots of John Hughes, lots of 80s, lots of old loves.

And come on. Jennifer Grey is charming in her geeky innocence. Swayze is strong, can really move and hell, that makes him kinda sexy. The dance moves are often on the edge of obscene, yet beautiful all at once. The soundtrack is pure brilliance. And well, then there's the iconic lift scenes.

Love it!

To do list for Thursday

As in, today. When it gets going at a reasonable hour.

1. Continue to unpack. I am still surrounded by boxes. I am invading two rooms. There is dust. There is lots of brown cardboard. Time is running out (I want to enjoy some of my leave without chores!)

2. Assignment. That is due Friday. So starting it Thursday seems to be right on schedule for me.

3. Buy birthday present for mother. Self-explanatory.

4. Drinks/dinner for friend's birthday. Ah, boozing to be had. But now that I live in The Hutt, going out and having silly drunken fun on a Thursday isn't going to be as easy.

5. Hang pictures/posters. Ahhh.. a living space where I don't have to worry about what I do to the walls. Tori, NYC and Firefly art to be hung!

6. Set-up recording gear. So that I can maybe attempt to record something on.. um. Oh wait. I have no other days that are really free! Mayyyybe Friday.

7. Email friends. Some of you have forgotten my existence. Or are ignoring me because I'm slack.

8. Find time to relax...

Home again.

So I guess you can go home again!

Here I am, back in my parents' place, in my old room upstairs (though it looks slightly different), feeling younger yet too grown-up at the same time. Being here definitely has its perks, however, what with the free rent and expenses, and the area is so quiet, but it also means less space/quiet to myself, a longer commute to work and a lot of unpacking.

At the moment the essentials are all set up, but the amount of boxes downstairs never seems to change.. I think a lot will be going into storage when I move to the UK.

I'm trying to make a conscious effort to use my free time better, now that I am here and have some. I don't return to work until the 11th, and my original plan was to use this time to write and record music. But with the move and the impending painting (which means I have to be unpacked this week), this has put a damper on things. At the moment I'm trying to strike a nice balance between relaxing, getting an assignment done and getting unpacked. And then there's the family time..

I'm also trying to amuse myself by looking at Edinburgh rentals online, pictures of my soon-to-be home-town and reading webcomics. I'm always open to recommendations, but I currently read Least I Could Do, Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and the disturbing-at-times/insane-at-others Cyanide and Happiness.

And then there's running through watching The X Files for about the 5th time.. it's nearly an annual occurrence now..

How the heck are you?

XF Top 12 - #6

Yeah this has been a loooong time coming, I know. With the family death and then the working and the UK trip and now the move...! well, done with excuses. Here are the next two on my countdown. (The other ep posts are here: 12, 11 & 10, 9, 8, and 7).

6.Home. (Season 4, Episode 3)

Creepy yet fantastically-done, Home surprises me still every time I watch it. To start with, it's just a beautiful episode (especially for the content!), with great cinematography, colour (and lack thereof), music and the writing gives us the Mulder and Scully we know and love as well as characters and villains we can fear and be amazed by.

The episode starts with a simple scene where Mulder expresses that he has always wished to live in a small town. Later on, we also get a scene where the agents discuss genetics and having children, and Mulder encourages her to "find [herself] a man with a spotless genetic make-up and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little Uber-Scullies." Hello? Adorable.

Aside from the cute agent moments, the episode is dark and disturbing with incest, murder of the sheriff and his wife, and a mutated infant. Despite the cringing, it remains a strong fan favourite.

Memorable quotes:

Scully: Meanwhile, I've quit the F.B.I. and become a spokesperson for the Ab-roller..

Mulder: ... Never had to lock your doors. No modems, no faxes, no cell phones.

Scully: Mulder, if you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you'd lapse into catatonic schizophrenia.

Mulder: Well, just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic make-up and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little Uber-Scullies.

Scully: What about your family?

Mulder: Hmm? Well, aside from the need for corrective lenses and a tendency to be abducted by extraterrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the Mulder family passes genetic muster.

Mulder: Scully... I never saw you as a mother before.

---

Honourable mention...Dreamland (Pts 1 & 2) (Season 6, Episodes 4 & 5)

Another classic body-switch episode, executed rather amusingly by the inclusion of Michael McKean as the disgruntled Man in Black. Of course the highlights here are the mirror dance sequence, the swearing Navajo woman, Morris' irate wife and hyper-hormonal children, and "Mulder"'s antics which include: slapping Scully's ass, sleeping with Kersh's assistant and re-decorating the apartment.

It's the second time someone masquerading as Mulder has tried to pick up Scully, but she still goes along with it.. to a point. And the water-bed adds a nice touch, especially with its later use in Monday.

Memorable quotes:

Scully: You don't think that we should follow up on this?

Morris (as Mulder): Are you out of your pretty little mind?

Scully: (so mad she can barely speak) Am I out of my mind? Mulder, you are out of your mind! What is up with you?! I'm thinking about having you examined for mental illness or-or drug use or... Or maybe a massive head injury! This is an X File, your life's work, your crusade!

Morris (as Mulder): As I understand it, we're off the X Files.

Mulder (as Morris): I'm Mulder. I'm really Mulder. I switched bodies, places, identities with this man Morris Fletcher the man that you think is Mulder, but he's not. (sees his reflection in the car window - of MORRIS) Of course you don't believe me. Why was I expecting anything different? Your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is... Hell! I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret. Your brother's name is Bill Jr. He's in the Navy and he hates me. (no response from SCULLY) Lately, for lunch, you've been having this six-ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt, into which you stir bee pollen because you're on a bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a scientist and you should know better.

Morris (as Mulder): Baby..

Scully: "Baby" me and you'll be peeing through a catheter.

More to come..

30 Posts in 30 Days

30 days left in the year, people. Dude.

My goal (and something I urge you to do, also!) is to post once a day for the next 30 days. I'm going to try and include resolutions, thoughts on the end of the year, plans, etc.. but also just post. Cause I'm a slacker.

If you're doing it let me know and I'll link you up here on the site!

Post #1 coming up.. (and no my overdue X Files posts don't count).