In my attempt to take pictures with Finn, this was the "best" one.
I love it!
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
Find the Light
MySpace have fixed their error and the new song is up on my page now. Thanks for your patience. :)
xxx
xxx
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Special features
I'm sitting watching through the alternate endings for a film called Godsend, which I watched this afternoon. So many different ways it could go.
I drove home from the supermarket today, listening to the Wreckers and wondering why I keep going back to past things and people when I'm trying to move forward. It was an oddly poignant moment I had in the car before I came in.
And then I thought, happiness isn't about perfection in relationships or situations.. happiness is about appreciating where you are, what you have, where you can go. People come into your life for a reason - sometimes they're just a fleeting glimpse, sometimes they stick around. Sometimes they leave and come back again.
There's a part of me that likes to plan everything - that likes to know exactly what is going to happen and be in control. But there's also a great part of me that likes to just let things fall in my lap and decide the next step.
Nothing is certain right now, yet so much is in motion. I am learning to appreciate what I have in life - it may not be perfect or what I wish it could be, but I have people and projects that bring me so much. So what now?
There are so many alternate endings. So many different ways it could go.
I drove home from the supermarket today, listening to the Wreckers and wondering why I keep going back to past things and people when I'm trying to move forward. It was an oddly poignant moment I had in the car before I came in.
And then I thought, happiness isn't about perfection in relationships or situations.. happiness is about appreciating where you are, what you have, where you can go. People come into your life for a reason - sometimes they're just a fleeting glimpse, sometimes they stick around. Sometimes they leave and come back again.
There's a part of me that likes to plan everything - that likes to know exactly what is going to happen and be in control. But there's also a great part of me that likes to just let things fall in my lap and decide the next step.
Nothing is certain right now, yet so much is in motion. I am learning to appreciate what I have in life - it may not be perfect or what I wish it could be, but I have people and projects that bring me so much. So what now?
There are so many alternate endings. So many different ways it could go.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
First listen!
A track from the EP is up on my MySpace. (It's still processing while I write, so if it's not there, check again soon).
xxx
Kat
xxx
Kat
Friday, May 19, 2006
Ear candy
I love how I can be really meh on an artist and a few years later, listen to them constantly. My ear is always changing and developing - I don't dump my true loves, but old stuff is left off of the iPod and new stuff is in.
And then there are the longtime loves that you rediscover... here's what I'm into right now.
Albums:
Lucinda Williams - Car Wheels on a Gravel Road:
Back when I worked for a music store, my boss used to play this and rave about it. I hated it. She sounded drunk and surly to me. I couldn't hear the musical talent in it. Recently a friend started raving about it again, and I decided to give it a try. It's not entirely perfect, but like living with a woman who's not really all together, but she knows what she wants. You piss her off and she gets drunk and throws stuff at you. But you know she has passion.
Favourites: Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, Can't Let Go, and Jackson.
Fleetwood Mac - The Very Best Of:
While this collection doesn't have everything that I love, it has a great many of them. I grew up listening to them on car trips, and Pink Floyd, and Bryan Adams. Fleetwood Mac have always been very special to me. I consider them legends, and I will stop and smile whenever I hear a FM song, no matter where I am or what I am doing. This CD is like going back in time; to sitting in the middle of the backseat of the car, pretending to sleep but really listening to Landslide and wishing Dad would push Back and play it again.
Favourites: Go Your Own Way, Say You Love Me, Don't Stop, Little Lies, Landslide, Big Love, Seven Wonders.
Original Broadway Cast - RENT:
I'd forgotten how much I love this show, until I finally watched the movie (after owning it on DVD for a long time). All of my love came flooding back, and I grabbed my CDs and started listening to them in the car again. And now they're back on the iPod, bringing me smiles every now and then when they show up on shuffle.
Favourites: La Vie Boheme, Another Day, One Song Glory, I'll Cover You, Seasons of Love
Charlotte Martin - On Your Shore:
When I first heard Charlotte, it was because Chris brought the album home for me from his US trip. I wasn't very impressed. I skimmed through the CD and found it too Kate Bush, too Tori, too something. I wasn't in the mood for it.
Fast-forward a few years later, and I'm playing my Sims 2 game with the University expansion pack. Suddenly this song comes on (her Sims version of Beautiful Life) and it blows me away. I try and listen to it over and over on the "College Radio" choice, even though it's in 'Simlish'. I discover it's Charlotte Martin. Hang on, don't I own that CD?
I'm now crazy about it. It's just so good. From the first track to the last, each has meaning and strong musicianship and hell, yes, she sounds like Kate Bush, especially on Limits of Our Love, but I love that about it. Her cover of Wild Horses will make your jaw drop. She's been loved, she's been hurt, she's been Up All Night and Haunted, and she makes great music.
Favourites: the title track, Every Time it Rains, Limits of Our Love, Madman, Beautiful Life.
Songs:
The Fray - How to Save a Life:
The chorus hooks me every time, with it's ascending scale back-melody, and the drumming. I have really been into good drumming lately. Some of you may know this from a recent Scrubs episode.
Rilo Kiley - Does He Love You?:
This is like being on a slumber party with Jenny Lewis singing in your ear about that boy that ruined her life, but she's way cooler and stronger than that now. Even when she's wailing, she's the toughest girl you know.
The Knife - You Make Me Like Charity:
These guys did the original version of the much-lauded "Heartbeats" song that Jose Gonzalez covered, sold for a commercial and got famous off of. This track is more silly and bouncy and nonsensical, even, with its lyrics, but it is so fun to listen to.
Daft Punk - Robot Rock [Soulwax Remix]:
Excellent to work out to, a perfect mix of rock and electronica.
The Veronicas - Did Ya Think:
This track isn't on the album, but is on the 4Ever single, and it's a pity that more people won't hear it. It's definitely one of my favourites from them, and I can't help but sing it loud in the car. It's a teenage girl yelling at her boyfriend and definitely having the upper hand.
And then there are the longtime loves that you rediscover... here's what I'm into right now.
Albums:
Lucinda Williams - Car Wheels on a Gravel Road:
Back when I worked for a music store, my boss used to play this and rave about it. I hated it. She sounded drunk and surly to me. I couldn't hear the musical talent in it. Recently a friend started raving about it again, and I decided to give it a try. It's not entirely perfect, but like living with a woman who's not really all together, but she knows what she wants. You piss her off and she gets drunk and throws stuff at you. But you know she has passion.
Favourites: Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, Can't Let Go, and Jackson.
Fleetwood Mac - The Very Best Of:
While this collection doesn't have everything that I love, it has a great many of them. I grew up listening to them on car trips, and Pink Floyd, and Bryan Adams. Fleetwood Mac have always been very special to me. I consider them legends, and I will stop and smile whenever I hear a FM song, no matter where I am or what I am doing. This CD is like going back in time; to sitting in the middle of the backseat of the car, pretending to sleep but really listening to Landslide and wishing Dad would push Back and play it again.
Favourites: Go Your Own Way, Say You Love Me, Don't Stop, Little Lies, Landslide, Big Love, Seven Wonders.
Original Broadway Cast - RENT:
I'd forgotten how much I love this show, until I finally watched the movie (after owning it on DVD for a long time). All of my love came flooding back, and I grabbed my CDs and started listening to them in the car again. And now they're back on the iPod, bringing me smiles every now and then when they show up on shuffle.
Favourites: La Vie Boheme, Another Day, One Song Glory, I'll Cover You, Seasons of Love
Charlotte Martin - On Your Shore:
When I first heard Charlotte, it was because Chris brought the album home for me from his US trip. I wasn't very impressed. I skimmed through the CD and found it too Kate Bush, too Tori, too something. I wasn't in the mood for it.
Fast-forward a few years later, and I'm playing my Sims 2 game with the University expansion pack. Suddenly this song comes on (her Sims version of Beautiful Life) and it blows me away. I try and listen to it over and over on the "College Radio" choice, even though it's in 'Simlish'. I discover it's Charlotte Martin. Hang on, don't I own that CD?
I'm now crazy about it. It's just so good. From the first track to the last, each has meaning and strong musicianship and hell, yes, she sounds like Kate Bush, especially on Limits of Our Love, but I love that about it. Her cover of Wild Horses will make your jaw drop. She's been loved, she's been hurt, she's been Up All Night and Haunted, and she makes great music.
Favourites: the title track, Every Time it Rains, Limits of Our Love, Madman, Beautiful Life.
Songs:
The Fray - How to Save a Life:
The chorus hooks me every time, with it's ascending scale back-melody, and the drumming. I have really been into good drumming lately. Some of you may know this from a recent Scrubs episode.
Rilo Kiley - Does He Love You?:
This is like being on a slumber party with Jenny Lewis singing in your ear about that boy that ruined her life, but she's way cooler and stronger than that now. Even when she's wailing, she's the toughest girl you know.
The Knife - You Make Me Like Charity:
These guys did the original version of the much-lauded "Heartbeats" song that Jose Gonzalez covered, sold for a commercial and got famous off of. This track is more silly and bouncy and nonsensical, even, with its lyrics, but it is so fun to listen to.
Daft Punk - Robot Rock [Soulwax Remix]:
Excellent to work out to, a perfect mix of rock and electronica.
The Veronicas - Did Ya Think:
This track isn't on the album, but is on the 4Ever single, and it's a pity that more people won't hear it. It's definitely one of my favourites from them, and I can't help but sing it loud in the car. It's a teenage girl yelling at her boyfriend and definitely having the upper hand.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Lost
Sometimes too much is too much and I just get overwhelmed and everything collapses in on itself. I lose it. Sometimes for a few hours, sometimes a few days. Everything seems hopeless and I just feel unbearably sad and lost and uncomfortable.
I'll be okay tomorrow. I've learned to live with random bouts of depression and anxiety. I just wish I could time them better or know how to really explain them.
I'm so cliche.
I'll be okay tomorrow. I've learned to live with random bouts of depression and anxiety. I just wish I could time them better or know how to really explain them.
I'm so cliche.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Worth the wait
You know when you want something really bad but it's not in your hands? it's up to circumstance, and other people, and probably God. But you wish you could control it anyway - or at least know the outcome.
What would life be if we knew the outcome? - if we knew we could fail, we might never try.
When there's something you want, you work hard for it. You prepare and learn, put in extra time, think hard about how to get it. But you could still fall short. Someone else might get that job, that guy, that part.
Life is about choices and paths, but even if you make the right choice and go down the right path, will it lead where you want it to? Life never goes quite the way you thought it would, and that's the beauty of it. It's scary, but it's life. Would you change it?
I can only do my best, go where I think I should, fill my life with good people. If I work hard, I should get results - even if they're not what I was expecting. If I put myself in the right place, physically as well as mentally.. then maybe the right things will come my way and I'll make the right decisions.
And if what you really want doesn't work or doesn't happen, I believe it's because something even better is coming. Something worth the wait; worth the sacrifice.
But it's hard to see it that way.. when you want it so much. Just gotta shoot until you score.
What would life be if we knew the outcome? - if we knew we could fail, we might never try.
When there's something you want, you work hard for it. You prepare and learn, put in extra time, think hard about how to get it. But you could still fall short. Someone else might get that job, that guy, that part.
Life is about choices and paths, but even if you make the right choice and go down the right path, will it lead where you want it to? Life never goes quite the way you thought it would, and that's the beauty of it. It's scary, but it's life. Would you change it?
I can only do my best, go where I think I should, fill my life with good people. If I work hard, I should get results - even if they're not what I was expecting. If I put myself in the right place, physically as well as mentally.. then maybe the right things will come my way and I'll make the right decisions.
And if what you really want doesn't work or doesn't happen, I believe it's because something even better is coming. Something worth the wait; worth the sacrifice.
But it's hard to see it that way.. when you want it so much. Just gotta shoot until you score.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
10 reasons to love 'that song'
(or 10 things I hope to inspire)
1. It leaves you wanting more.
2. It makes you want to drum in the air, or on your steering wheel.
3. You sing along after hearing it once, or even halfway through.
4. It makes you feel something in your heart.
5. The vocals or arrangement bring a lump to your throat.
6. It makes you want to dance.
7. You send the lyrics to someone you love.
8. You listen to it more than once in a row.
9. You tell a friend about it, or play it to them.
10. You've felt the same.
What about you?
1. It leaves you wanting more.
2. It makes you want to drum in the air, or on your steering wheel.
3. You sing along after hearing it once, or even halfway through.
4. It makes you feel something in your heart.
5. The vocals or arrangement bring a lump to your throat.
6. It makes you want to dance.
7. You send the lyrics to someone you love.
8. You listen to it more than once in a row.
9. You tell a friend about it, or play it to them.
10. You've felt the same.
What about you?
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Just a number
You spend your entire life waiting to be older.
I remember when I was 8, I couldn't wait to be 10. Double digits! It sounded so amazing. I'd always be littler than my big brother and sister, but at least I'd have two numbers to my name. Two numbers!
At 12, I remember working out what year I'd be 16. The magical year "2000" seemed like a lifetime away. I thought I'd be so cool by then.
At 15, I couldn't wait to be 17. In all the movies, books and musicals, the beautiful girl was always seventeen. Waiting for her guy to come along. I hoped and hoped and hoped I'd be pretty like my big sister.
At 17, I was doing pretty well. I had a good boyfriend, long hair, nice clothes, decent grades. I felt 17, but not quite a princess. I was too young to drink, but too old to slack off. I got sick, and a lot changed. I started to re-prioritise.
At 18 I wanted to be 20.
At 20 I couldn't wait to be 21.
And then, all of a sudden, I reached 22.
22.
It's not old. Hardly. It's still a baby to anyone over 25.
They like to grin and nod at you, or just roll their eyes. "Oh you're still so young."
It's a hilarious mix of condescending and superiority that amuses me greatly. Cause you're so old? Because you remember being so confused and 'finding yourself' at 22? I hardly think I've ever been the average person for their age. I've been performing professionally since I was 10 years old. Most of my friends range from 3-12 years older, and live all over the world. I've spent large chunks of the last 4 years alone, or living overseas.
It makes you a little different from your peers. You grow up a great deal when you're forced to live mainly in your own head. You start to actually feel like you know what you're doing in life.
And 22 is a good place to be: you're not a baby anymore. You can't be called a teenager or youth. You're old enough to make your own big decisions. To make those big purchases. To live alone. To be married. To think about a family.
So. 22?
I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. But I'll make it good.
I remember when I was 8, I couldn't wait to be 10. Double digits! It sounded so amazing. I'd always be littler than my big brother and sister, but at least I'd have two numbers to my name. Two numbers!
At 12, I remember working out what year I'd be 16. The magical year "2000" seemed like a lifetime away. I thought I'd be so cool by then.
At 15, I couldn't wait to be 17. In all the movies, books and musicals, the beautiful girl was always seventeen. Waiting for her guy to come along. I hoped and hoped and hoped I'd be pretty like my big sister.
At 17, I was doing pretty well. I had a good boyfriend, long hair, nice clothes, decent grades. I felt 17, but not quite a princess. I was too young to drink, but too old to slack off. I got sick, and a lot changed. I started to re-prioritise.
At 18 I wanted to be 20.
At 20 I couldn't wait to be 21.
And then, all of a sudden, I reached 22.
22.
It's not old. Hardly. It's still a baby to anyone over 25.
They like to grin and nod at you, or just roll their eyes. "Oh you're still so young."
It's a hilarious mix of condescending and superiority that amuses me greatly. Cause you're so old? Because you remember being so confused and 'finding yourself' at 22? I hardly think I've ever been the average person for their age. I've been performing professionally since I was 10 years old. Most of my friends range from 3-12 years older, and live all over the world. I've spent large chunks of the last 4 years alone, or living overseas.
It makes you a little different from your peers. You grow up a great deal when you're forced to live mainly in your own head. You start to actually feel like you know what you're doing in life.
And 22 is a good place to be: you're not a baby anymore. You can't be called a teenager or youth. You're old enough to make your own big decisions. To make those big purchases. To live alone. To be married. To think about a family.
So. 22?
I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. But I'll make it good.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Zombie
Daniel got there alive. He's a bit shell-shocked, but I think he'll do okay.
Life has been all over the place lately. I haven't been whisked off by some gorgeous man, but there are a few men hanging around. I've mainly been concentrating on sleeping, catching up with friends, writing, sleeping. Well, when I can sleep.
Last night it was after 4.30am before I could get to sleep. Don't ask me why. I don't know. I was feeling a bit nauseated and just restless. My brain was running things, and wanted to think about work and money: two things you never focus on when trying to sleep.
I watched some Grey's Anatomy. I listened to my iPod. I read. I emailed a friend. I went through days in my head. I went through my upcoming trip in my head. I made up a story. I ate a muesli bar at 4. I tried every sleeping position I could think of (and probably made up some new ones). Nothing.
BUT. Today I can function! I don't know quite how that happened, but I seem to be with it on most points.
Can't wait to go home to nap, though.
Birthday Week didn't go quite to plan, but I had a good time all the same. Thanks for all the well wishes. I had a lovely dinner with the family and went out for Karaoke/cocktails/dancing on Saturday night. Photos from both evenings are in my Flickr.
I hope things are well for you. I plan to write more in the next few weeks, and I'll share some with you. Check back soon for a music update, also, as things are moving forward there.
xx
--K
Life has been all over the place lately. I haven't been whisked off by some gorgeous man, but there are a few men hanging around. I've mainly been concentrating on sleeping, catching up with friends, writing, sleeping. Well, when I can sleep.
Last night it was after 4.30am before I could get to sleep. Don't ask me why. I don't know. I was feeling a bit nauseated and just restless. My brain was running things, and wanted to think about work and money: two things you never focus on when trying to sleep.
I watched some Grey's Anatomy. I listened to my iPod. I read. I emailed a friend. I went through days in my head. I went through my upcoming trip in my head. I made up a story. I ate a muesli bar at 4. I tried every sleeping position I could think of (and probably made up some new ones). Nothing.
BUT. Today I can function! I don't know quite how that happened, but I seem to be with it on most points.
Can't wait to go home to nap, though.
Birthday Week didn't go quite to plan, but I had a good time all the same. Thanks for all the well wishes. I had a lovely dinner with the family and went out for Karaoke/cocktails/dancing on Saturday night. Photos from both evenings are in my Flickr.
I hope things are well for you. I plan to write more in the next few weeks, and I'll share some with you. Check back soon for a music update, also, as things are moving forward there.
xx
--K
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